Reading your own writing

I am terrified to read anything I wrote for my MA project. I just won't do it. Every time I think about reading it I also think about walking down to the gas station to buy some cigarettes. I grabbed the first ten pages, slapped the text into a new document, renamed it and shut the program down before I could see anything. I still conflate bad writing and bad ideas. The Elbow-man helped soothe some of those worries when he wrote about his own bad writing. Ugh, this is totally uninspired writing. I feel completely uninspired. It's been a long day and I have something to confess: I'm not actually thinking about writing right now. Maybe this is the wrong time to write.